Posted By Andrew

Weight Loss and healthy living; AKA what I did in 2016

Hello readers, it has been a very long time since we have interacted on this website. In the past you knew me a s humorist, a film theorist, a reviewer of fiction, comics, television and more. You knew me as the potty mouth podcast host who went places that others were afraid to. I suppose I am still that same pretentious douche bag. I still say the first venomous and awful things that come to mind. And I sure as shit have not cleaned up my fucking language, but a lot has changed about me in the year that this site was down. And of course I will write about them because another thing about me hasn’t changed.

Which is the fact I still believe that you all care about my opinions and thus will read them religiously and praise me. “Aka What I Did in 2016” will be a recurring collection of the random shit I did this year while I was unable to blog about it here. A retrospective of the year that was. Now, some of you know me well and therefore this may just be a review. However, there are those of you who are learning about me. And this may be a fun way to drink me in man. So Where do we begin? As I write this article we are nearing the midnight hour. Which means I am 45 minutes away from December rolling into 2016 and ringing in an end to this year. Well, I suppose I will begin where I ended 2015, with a “New Years Resolution”.

December 1st 2015, Andrew Christy was still employed by the evil slave empire known as Diamond Drug, I was a lamen “pharmacy technician” under paid and unappreciated. I was a number rolling about in the cog of a large operation. Now I use the term Pharmacy Technician boldly in regard for own self worth. Because what I really did was put stickers on things and sometimes count pills. The plus side to this mind numbing work was as follows

  • I made some good friends, whom I still hang out with, even after leaving.
  • I could listen to music and podcasts all day
  • I was on my feet
  • Off most holidays
  • off most Sundays/Only worked two Saturdays a month.

There really wasn’t much to this low waged nightmare, but they did offer some opportunities to have at least a little fun. Beginning in January of 2016 the company held a “Biggest Loser” challenge. And sure, if they were looking for 20 something numbskulls like myself who hadn’t amounted to anything and never will, then surely I would have taken first place. But the competition was a little more difficult than just being genetically engineered to fail.  Fans of the television show would know this was a weight loss challenge.

Having just turned 28 and becoming increasingly despaired by the fact I gasped for air walking uphill to my car I thought that it was time to maybe do something about my increasingly fat ass. Hell I am one of the most competitive and driven people around when I have a goal I can really sink my teeth into and so I signed up. And so began a journey the likes of Bilbo Baggins would be amazed to read about-Er not really, but I have to sell this shit to keep readers.  I weighed in at 240 lbs, and standing at about 5’8ish. My BMI was outrageously bad, but hey I loved to sit on my ass and stuff my face. Such is the life of a chronically depressed loser. But 2016 was going to be my year.

A time for change. And motherfuck did I make some changes. I did make the mistake of not taking a picture for any before and after opportunities. You see I am a pretty big failure and usually give up on everything that I ever try. So to avoid any really embarrassing moments after I gave up, I just went about without it. I did some research and talked to some people close to me. I will say they inspired me with their pwn weight loss. Indeed if the fattest people in my life could be trim and fit, there was no reason that I couldn’t?


The picture above is one of the last pictures of me prior to taking on a diet and lifestyle change. (You will see this photo again in a future article detailing how I was screwed over in the movie making business) That’s me in 38 inch waist “Skinny jeans” and a 2xl Misfits shirt. Below is a recent photograph that is maybe a month or so old.


Is that even the same fucking guy? Come on dude! Praise me yo. That’s me know. A trim 160ish frame, 28/30 in waist and in case you’re wondering, a larger penis too. Just sayin. And so the journey began with a diet, and one that took some time to refine. In fact I was mostly anorexic for about three weeks. And yeah that worked, I dropped about 8 pounds, but man was I tired, and falling asleep on the way home from work mid sentence in a conversation was a wake up call. I was losing weight, but also strength and it wasn’t healthy. So I made the adjustments. I began with a 1500 calorie diet. I achieved this by having either a fat free Fit and Active Yogurt or an apple for breakfast. Every day, at 10am.

I started eating fit and active meals for lunch, the ones that are super high in sodium like Lasagna at about 300-400 calories

and then for dinner and evening snack I would end the night at 1500. I gave up soda and most other drinks. Keeping a water diet for many months. And the weight began to fall off.

So I became a little more confident and decided to drop down to 1200 calories and I was able to maintain this and even more weight fell off. My average would probably be 4 or 5 pounds per week, I had one cheat meal a week that I wouldn’t count calories and would eat whatever shitty thing I wanted, and as the weight fell off I decided to create an even more solid routine.

The weather became better as we entered into spring, I still had a Fit and Active yougurt for breakfast every morning, but I gave up the frozen lunches and instead made a deli meat sandwich. 6 slices of meat, a slice of fit an active cheese, on sandwich thins. And while I ate I walked for 30 minutes.

So at this point the competition came to an end and I ended up losing about 40 or 50 pounds. I honestly cannot remember, but there were two even more fatter asses who beat me. But I was awarded a Garmin for my effort and I used that thing religiously. And I watched many of the people in the competition put weight back on while I refined my routine and continued to lose.

I actually lost my first 30 pounds before I ever tried to exercise. Once that initial weight loss occurred I began an experiment with cardio that turned into an obsession. I fucking love running man. That is surprising to a lot of people, but I fall into deep depressions now if I am unable to get a run in.  With the added cardio I was able to drop 80 fucking pounds this year. I started the lifestyle change (diets are only temporary) in January with a goal of being 160 by summers end. I hit that goal in July.

A lot of people doubted me, a lot of people are fucking jealous of me. And a lot of people are proud of me. But losing the weight is half of the battle. Most diets fail, most people gain weight again. And I have maintained and learned that my natural weight fluctuates between 160 and 168.

So I am part of a select group of people who actually followed through with their New Years Resolution. I lost a tremendous amount of weight and got into shape. I didn’t just become a shell of myself. I am pretty impressive if I am being honest. I do parkour and shit.

As of tomorrow I take this to the next level and will be hitting the gym. I fear the winter months will hurt my ability to get solid runs in so my cardio game will take a hit. To prevent that I will be present in a gym. But I am also going to add some good muscle mass and try and tone myself. Hopefully in a year I can write about that adventure too.

I am going to end this with some real words of inspiration. Ignore the pretend gimmick of an ego seen above. I set my mind to a goal and I worked my ass off for it. I am still working for it. And really, honestly if I can do this than anyone can. If you have something like this in mind, stop putting it off and just do it. You will love yourself for it. Nothing in life is worth having if you don’t have to work to have it.

It’s possible to love yourself inside and outside. I am still working on both, but man it feels good to be where I am at even now. So that’s what I did in 2016, what did you do?

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